he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
