I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
