i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
apparently the secret to your success is patron
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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