Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
