You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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