sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
