I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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