This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
