did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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