wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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