I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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