At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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