i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
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