This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
