Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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