I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize