A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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