Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
They are going to name an STD after you.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
