I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
