Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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