WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
