May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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