Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize