I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
