take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
