I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just forgot I was standing up.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
