i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
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My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
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God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
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