i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
This show inspires me to have sex in space
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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