i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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