I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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