Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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