Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
God, I missed his penis.
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