god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
