May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
