Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
