I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
