if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
