wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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