Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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