Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You are a genius and a whore.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize