I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
