If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
