If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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