he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
