dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes