I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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