the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
