I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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