My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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