is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
