went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
