You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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