We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
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