I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
