your thong is hanging out like whoa
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
