I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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