I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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