I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
