Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
