Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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