4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
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We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
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It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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