If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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